turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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