Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
