wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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