Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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