Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
