I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
