do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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