I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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