pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I need water and some morals
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
