dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
