i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
