White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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