This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you would pick up someone in the library
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
