Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
