piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
