I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
