My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
