it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
