i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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