I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
