I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
