My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
