hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
