We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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