Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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