She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
