Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
