i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
