I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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