You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
