just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
