and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
