Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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