Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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