I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
