3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
