look no pants
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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