just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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