return my video game
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
