id be glad to
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
