He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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