So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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