how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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