We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
