nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
