So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
