Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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