Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
