New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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