Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
