Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize