woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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