with your own penis?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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