How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
