When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
