Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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